Thursday, April 17, 2008

Can I Write In Peter Parker?

So part of my Roth IRA is invested in Marvel Entertainment.  I bought shares before Spider-Man came out in theaters.  Whoo hoo!

So, every year, I get a proxy ballot to vote on issues for Marvel (no, not comic issues) and to vote members to the board.

Seeing as how Marvel is doing the Hulk AGAIN, gave me the every-crappy GHOST RIDER and handed over a lousy SPIDER-MAN 3....I think it's time the board got a swift kick in the butt.  With my green Hulk boots, of course.

Next Up: Rabbits With Herpes

Poor PetSmart.  First, they get in trouble for poor habitat conditions for their reptiles.  Then, the start looking at bigger financial trouble.  Today's news brings us this little gem:

I had to actually read this one about three times, just to get all of the subtle nuances.  I mean, hot coffee in the groin at McDonald's? Easy to understand.  Got to get rid of you Elmo doll because it threatens to kill your kid? OK, get that one too.

So if I get this correctly, Woman #1 goes to PetSmart and buys a hamster for her kid.  Awww, lookit Fluffy running around in his little ball.  Whoops!  Watch Fluffy in his little ball bounce down the stairs.  Watch Fluffy go all frickin' Cujo on the world and pass along some nasty virus to its owner.

OK, so now Woman #1 somehow becomes Dead Woman #1.  Fatal frying pan accident, hamster mistook her for a pellet....we may never know.

Family says "We love ya, Mom" and forks over the organs of Dear Ol' Mom to the hospital, presumably NOT making a profit, even though gas prices are so ridiculously high.  Said organs get stuffed into other people who then get Evil Hamster Virus and die.  And the lawsuit states that PetSmart should have warned people that hamsters carry diseases that could be fatal in people with weakened immune systems.

Ummm.  I really have only one comment for this, which is the ever insightful:  DUH?!!?!?

It's a RODENT, people.  Remember something called the Bubonic Plague that wiped out most of Europe?  Ok, here's a biology lesson for you....the rats of the Bubonic Plague and hamsters? Yeah, related.  Both rodents.  So if RATS can carry disease and they are a rodent....and hamsters are rodents....then do I have to draw the picture for you?

The lawsuit should be against the HOSPITAL for not properly checking out the blood and/or organs for any type of virus before throwing it willy-nilly into the next person who needs it.

I'm looking forward to seeing how this one plays out, but I'm siding with PetSmart and against The Stupid People.

Probably A Sign I'm Gay....

Of course, having a handsome husband when I'm a guy is probably a dead giveaway, but....

I got a spam email that said "Get her to come every time."

My real first thought?

"Come where?"

Oooops.  Yeah.  Not passing for straight anytime soon.

Dear Angry Customer.....

Just an open note to you angry customers out there:

Threatening to file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, and threatening to have Visa reverse the charges to your account because your item is a week overdue? Really not necessary. Hanging up on the manager when he's trying to help? Also not necessary.

Fortunately, said customer referred to above now has his $37 back.  I sincerely hope that restored the Earth to its regularly scheduled orbit, now in progress.