Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Further Ruminations

I wish I could put out of my head all of the things that my mother said to me about Luis' and my relationship, but it keeps playing over and over in my head. I had some additional thoughts today which continue to make me angry:

1. My father divorced his 1st wife. Why didn't he insist that she not be allowed to keep her married last name, since she isn't family? Part of their argument was that Luis shouldn't be allowed to use the last name because he isn't family. I'd argue he is more family than an ex-wife.

2. I've probably mentioned this before, but my mother got divorced. Her parents got divorced. Her brother got divorced. Who is she to tell ME what marriage is?

I just found out that a good friend of ours who did the ceremony sent a letter to my mom. His heart is in the right place, but I suspect that it is going to do more harm than good.

Dad called today and left a voicemail that he wanted me to call them sometime when I was at home. I don't particularly want to, and I don't know when (or if) I will.

Luis is being tremendously supportive, and just keeps reminding me that I have him. I also realize that I have a lot of loyal friends and co-workers who love me unconditionally.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Penguins Win Two Years In A Row

For those who are keeping score, we now have at least two films that have won Oscars that feature penguins. Last year's winner for Best Documentary was March Of The Penguins and this year's Best Animated Film was Happy Feet. I predict that 2007 will indeed be another big year for penguins.

I was very surprised to see that Pan's Labyrinth had been nominated for Best Foreign Film instead of Best Picture, and I found that disappointing. However, watching Melissa Etheridge win for Best Song, kiss her wife and actually refer to her as her wife onstage more than made up for any disappointment I might have had.

The Departed wins Best Picture and Best Director. I can't wait to hear the backlash from the gay community tomorrow. I remember when this film came out how outraged everybody was about Mark Wahlberg's character using gay slurs through most of the movie. Sigh. It's a MOVIE folks...some people really DO talk like that.

When Parents Go Insane

OK, so I'm definitely confused on this one.

When my man and I went to visit my parents during Thanksgiving, Mom cried over him and talked about how thrilled she was that I had brought him home. Over dinner, she said thanks that I had brought her somebody else to love. Multiple conversations afterwards were all about how much she missed the two of us and wished she could spend more time with us and how terrible it was that we lived so far away.

Originally, she had said that she would never accept the concept of gay marriage, and only supported us because our invitations had said 'commitment ceremony' and not 'wedding.' However, while we were there, she and I had conversations about using the term 'partner' versus 'husband' and so forth. She even recommended to me how I should go about hyphenating my name.

Then, today, everything suddenly changed. We had sent her some pictures and had made the return address using both of our names, only hyphenated. I called her today to ask her a question and World War III ensued. How dare I allow him to use our last name! He isn't family! He will never be my husband! I've expected them to handle too much with this! If I want to change my name so badly I should go back to what it was before I was adopted by my stepfather!

I don't know where any of this is coming from, but I'm deeply saddened, and quietly furious. At 35, I shouldn't be having to worry about making my parents happy. And so, I'm not going to. I have a life here on the West Coast, they have their life on the East Coast, and ne'er shall the two meet again for a VERY long time.

You know, I was never really a proponent of gay marriage. I certainly think that I should be entitled to the same rights as a straight couple, but the actual word marriage didn't matter to me. Now, however, I'm starting to feel more political about it. My mother got divorced, my stepfather got divorced, my grandparents on my mother's side got divorced, my uncle on my mother's side got divorced...where do these people get off trying to tell ME what marriage should be? That would be like Britney Spears giving me child-rearing tips.

Needless to say, I have no desire to speak to them right now. My man says it's he and I against the world, and I think there is some truth to it. However, I have a good life and great career here, and I think those who don't wish to be accepting and a part of it need to find their way to the nearest exits.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Maybe They're Aiming For The Wrong Market

Saw this on a website that specializes in obtaining foods from Latin American and South American countries for consumption by folks around the world. Maybe it's just me, but I'm thinking that if the makers of this product set up shop on Castro Street here in San Francisco, they'd make a killing.