When Parents Go Insane

OK, so I'm definitely confused on this one.

When my man and I went to visit my parents during Thanksgiving, Mom cried over him and talked about how thrilled she was that I had brought him home. Over dinner, she said thanks that I had brought her somebody else to love. Multiple conversations afterwards were all about how much she missed the two of us and wished she could spend more time with us and how terrible it was that we lived so far away.

Originally, she had said that she would never accept the concept of gay marriage, and only supported us because our invitations had said 'commitment ceremony' and not 'wedding.' However, while we were there, she and I had conversations about using the term 'partner' versus 'husband' and so forth. She even recommended to me how I should go about hyphenating my name.

Then, today, everything suddenly changed. We had sent her some pictures and had made the return address using both of our names, only hyphenated. I called her today to ask her a question and World War III ensued. How dare I allow him to use our last name! He isn't family! He will never be my husband! I've expected them to handle too much with this! If I want to change my name so badly I should go back to what it was before I was adopted by my stepfather!

I don't know where any of this is coming from, but I'm deeply saddened, and quietly furious. At 35, I shouldn't be having to worry about making my parents happy. And so, I'm not going to. I have a life here on the West Coast, they have their life on the East Coast, and ne'er shall the two meet again for a VERY long time.

You know, I was never really a proponent of gay marriage. I certainly think that I should be entitled to the same rights as a straight couple, but the actual word marriage didn't matter to me. Now, however, I'm starting to feel more political about it. My mother got divorced, my stepfather got divorced, my grandparents on my mother's side got divorced, my uncle on my mother's side got divorced...where do these people get off trying to tell ME what marriage should be? That would be like Britney Spears giving me child-rearing tips.

Needless to say, I have no desire to speak to them right now. My man says it's he and I against the world, and I think there is some truth to it. However, I have a good life and great career here, and I think those who don't wish to be accepting and a part of it need to find their way to the nearest exits.